So I have this bucket list, that I already forgot and just saw after looking back on my old files, here are some of them......
Out of 27, i already have.......
tour the Philippines (have atleast rank B on the lakbayan ranking) -- DONE!!!
climb Mt. Apo
-----
-----
house
house on the mountains (Sagada preferably)
house on the beach
car
donate blood
-----
learn how to play violin or a son/daughter that can
learn to play guitar
six pack abs -- In my dreams, hahaha -- HELL NO
-----
ride a plane -- DONE
ride a boat -- DONE
ride a train -- DONE
learn to swim -- DONE
sky diving
wall climbing -- DONE
rappeling -- DONE
-----
start my own business
be called a "father"
-----
peircing
learn to drive
....... 7, I had really high dreams and wanted to do a lot of things, and this was just the original list that I made, I have tons of things I want to add to this list. Some items i marked ----- is somewhat personal thus the secrecy.
Well I have a long way to go.... :D
Monday, August 13, 2012
Dust covered files.......
I was looking back in my files, way way back, and saw this, it dated January 5, 2009. I doubt if this is the actual date but this is what it said.....
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't
recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure
out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap.
Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.
We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
I could no longer remember where I saw this and who created it, to whoever you are, this hits right in the middle.......
They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.
You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't
recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.
You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.
Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.
You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.
You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure
out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap.
Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it.
We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.
I could no longer remember where I saw this and who created it, to whoever you are, this hits right in the middle.......
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
The Goal......
The goal was, to be a responsible, strong, dependable man. not a heartless, cold man walking aimlessly.
I knew that being cold and heartless would be part of it, maybe just on the outside, for show, so that on the long run, it would look like that i am strong, hard as a rock, dependable. So when the going gets tough, when the world crumbles around me, I will be rock solid, I will be the "man who can't be moved".
I will be the one who is calm in the middle of the riot,, to think clearly when everyone else is confused.
And now, I think the time has come for me to test if I really am strong enough, dependable enough, responsible enough. Now that the going is getting harder, i need to toughen up and stand my ground, I made this choice.
"When it rains, it really does pours......" as I tweeted earlier, so now, a cheers, saying goodbye to my aimless wondering and hop on board to the one way ticket to grownupville. CHEERS!
as for the cold and heartless part, Its there, it will never go away, not anymore. It will be the first thing that will greet you whenever we cross paths.
I knew that being cold and heartless would be part of it, maybe just on the outside, for show, so that on the long run, it would look like that i am strong, hard as a rock, dependable. So when the going gets tough, when the world crumbles around me, I will be rock solid, I will be the "man who can't be moved".
I will be the one who is calm in the middle of the riot,, to think clearly when everyone else is confused.
And now, I think the time has come for me to test if I really am strong enough, dependable enough, responsible enough. Now that the going is getting harder, i need to toughen up and stand my ground, I made this choice.
"When it rains, it really does pours......" as I tweeted earlier, so now, a cheers, saying goodbye to my aimless wondering and hop on board to the one way ticket to grownupville. CHEERS!
as for the cold and heartless part, Its there, it will never go away, not anymore. It will be the first thing that will greet you whenever we cross paths.
Monday, April 9, 2012
The wheels are finally turning.........
After all the wait for "the stars to align" I think it already is.
I am both being drawn and pushed to the place that I should be in.
This will be a good year for me, A toast for this year, it will be great, I can just feel it in my gut.
All the blur is clearing out, and what I see is something I always wanted, I don't know where, when or with whom, but the how and why is clear to me.
I think I discovered a new reason, so now I have 4, and that reason, is nearing its end.
Right now everything is a mess, everything is uptight and strict, but soon, the calm will come and all will be clear, all will be ok for me to make my move.
I am both being drawn and pushed to the place that I should be in.
This will be a good year for me, A toast for this year, it will be great, I can just feel it in my gut.
All the blur is clearing out, and what I see is something I always wanted, I don't know where, when or with whom, but the how and why is clear to me.
I think I discovered a new reason, so now I have 4, and that reason, is nearing its end.
Right now everything is a mess, everything is uptight and strict, but soon, the calm will come and all will be clear, all will be ok for me to make my move.
Play to win......
That is, If I am playing the game.
I don't like the spotlight, I don't like the title, I don't like to compete, compete for something I am not interested in.
I do things in my own phase and my own way, and if along the road there is someone who wants it more than I do, fine, its all yours, I will not waste my time and effort to compete against you. I rarely compete, I rarely turn on my competitiveness. But when I do, I am in it for the win.
I really don't see the sense in playing the game if you are not in it for the win. Of all the things that I do, you will certainly know if I am doing it for the win or just because I can.
I rarely get disappointed because whenever I fail, I fail without giving much effort, I failed because I never planned to win.
I am not saying that I never loose, its just that, when I want to win, I will do everything to win.
And it has worked for me. Given that there is a challenge, I do it, If I am not in it for the win, when I loose, its OK, when I win, Yay. If I am in it to win, when I win, its well deserved, But when I loose, I sulk, then I challenge myself to do better next time.
It sounds good and looks like a win - win situation but its not, it takes a lot from me. I push myself to my own limits, to be better, to win, to reach that goal, but at the same time. I train myself to not give in to all the temptations. Being competitive, for me, is really easy, competing, not letting anyone beat me to anything is a walk in the park, answering all those taunts and challenges to do something better is everyday for me, and maybe for anyone, lot of people out there take pride and joy of winning over small things like being the first one to talk, be the first one to explain a common knowledge, having the right time to say "I Told You So", getting noticed first, finishing things first and a lot more, the list is long, too long for me to trouble myself. So I do what I think is the best solution, I ignore.
Do the things I do with pride and effort, do things at a 100% for me and not for anyone, doing the best that I can do and not do things just to be better than someone I know. Doing things the best that I can do rather than doing things just for you.
No one will give a 100% for me aside from me, well maybe, there will be, someone out there, someone might, but no one will do this for me, so might as well do it myself.
"Play to win" that was what my friend said while playing cards, So I did. But I choose the games that I play.
Play to win, I wonder what game I will play next.
I don't like the spotlight, I don't like the title, I don't like to compete, compete for something I am not interested in.
I do things in my own phase and my own way, and if along the road there is someone who wants it more than I do, fine, its all yours, I will not waste my time and effort to compete against you. I rarely compete, I rarely turn on my competitiveness. But when I do, I am in it for the win.
I really don't see the sense in playing the game if you are not in it for the win. Of all the things that I do, you will certainly know if I am doing it for the win or just because I can.
I rarely get disappointed because whenever I fail, I fail without giving much effort, I failed because I never planned to win.
I am not saying that I never loose, its just that, when I want to win, I will do everything to win.
And it has worked for me. Given that there is a challenge, I do it, If I am not in it for the win, when I loose, its OK, when I win, Yay. If I am in it to win, when I win, its well deserved, But when I loose, I sulk, then I challenge myself to do better next time.
It sounds good and looks like a win - win situation but its not, it takes a lot from me. I push myself to my own limits, to be better, to win, to reach that goal, but at the same time. I train myself to not give in to all the temptations. Being competitive, for me, is really easy, competing, not letting anyone beat me to anything is a walk in the park, answering all those taunts and challenges to do something better is everyday for me, and maybe for anyone, lot of people out there take pride and joy of winning over small things like being the first one to talk, be the first one to explain a common knowledge, having the right time to say "I Told You So", getting noticed first, finishing things first and a lot more, the list is long, too long for me to trouble myself. So I do what I think is the best solution, I ignore.
Do the things I do with pride and effort, do things at a 100% for me and not for anyone, doing the best that I can do and not do things just to be better than someone I know. Doing things the best that I can do rather than doing things just for you.
No one will give a 100% for me aside from me, well maybe, there will be, someone out there, someone might, but no one will do this for me, so might as well do it myself.
"Play to win" that was what my friend said while playing cards, So I did. But I choose the games that I play.
Play to win, I wonder what game I will play next.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Confused.......
Lately I have been focused and distracted at the same time. One minute I am certain and clear of the things I want to do, the next minute, I am hopeless. wandering aimlessly in the corner or sitting stupidly in my chair.
One day I can honestly say I CAN RULE THE WORLD, but the next day I can't even help myself. I am struggling so bad right now, I don't want to admit it. I always say.....
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
but my trick has not worked for me lately.
I am in a dilemma, on the left, is going through all this all by myself, thus making my stronger and better as a person. on the right, is asking the aid of my family, friends and loved ones, thus making my relationship with them more open and healthy.
lonesome self worth and pride to myself, or vulnerable transparency and open communication with other people.
I am scared to the bones about this, its no longer healthy. At my age crossroads are everywhere, I see my friends living the time of their lives, spending their time with their forevers, shifting careers from the work that paid the bills to work they love it no longer feels like work. From start of every afters to children that both brings joy and chaos into your lives. I want that, I need that, I think I do, now? maybe later, maybe never, next year I guess. I DON'T KNOW!
I am so confused. but I don't want others to see my confusion, I am in no position to be distracted, well openly disctracted, people are depending on me and looking up to me, I need to make an example although I don't know how. I NEED TO DO THIS...... I CAN DO THIS can just follow me from behind. So for now I put on my pokerface and face head on the problem ahead.
One day I can honestly say I CAN RULE THE WORLD, but the next day I can't even help myself. I am struggling so bad right now, I don't want to admit it. I always say.....
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
I can do this
but my trick has not worked for me lately.
I am in a dilemma, on the left, is going through all this all by myself, thus making my stronger and better as a person. on the right, is asking the aid of my family, friends and loved ones, thus making my relationship with them more open and healthy.
lonesome self worth and pride to myself, or vulnerable transparency and open communication with other people.
I am scared to the bones about this, its no longer healthy. At my age crossroads are everywhere, I see my friends living the time of their lives, spending their time with their forevers, shifting careers from the work that paid the bills to work they love it no longer feels like work. From start of every afters to children that both brings joy and chaos into your lives. I want that, I need that, I think I do, now? maybe later, maybe never, next year I guess. I DON'T KNOW!
I am so confused. but I don't want others to see my confusion, I am in no position to be distracted, well openly disctracted, people are depending on me and looking up to me, I need to make an example although I don't know how. I NEED TO DO THIS...... I CAN DO THIS can just follow me from behind. So for now I put on my pokerface and face head on the problem ahead.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Chill........
Chill Sa Aking Duyan
Zanjoe Marudo
Dalawang puno lang ang kailangan
Para itali ang aking tambayan
Walang gustong gawin kundi humiga lang
At magmuni-muni sa ugoy ng aking duyan
Chill (chill) sa aking duyan (4x)
One cup of coffee lang ang kailangan
Habang mga housemates ay pinagmamasdan
Paglubog ng araw 'di ko na namalayan
Dumaan na rin si crush... natulala na naman
Chorus:
Sa aking duyan chill(chill) (3x)
Sa aking duyan
Daddy christian ay nagluluto sa kitchen
Ang heartthrob dj natin ay in-love narin
Ratatatat ni m16 si keanna
Oh ang ating iron man, nagjo-joke na naman
(repeat chorus)
Dito na nagtatapos ang aking araw
Ten minutes na lang lights out na ang ilaw
Good night good night good night
Kita kits sa duyan....
It's over....!!!!!
Zanjoe Marudo
Dalawang puno lang ang kailangan
Para itali ang aking tambayan
Walang gustong gawin kundi humiga lang
At magmuni-muni sa ugoy ng aking duyan
Chill (chill) sa aking duyan (4x)
One cup of coffee lang ang kailangan
Habang mga housemates ay pinagmamasdan
Paglubog ng araw 'di ko na namalayan
Dumaan na rin si crush... natulala na naman
Chorus:
Sa aking duyan chill(chill) (3x)
Sa aking duyan
Daddy christian ay nagluluto sa kitchen
Ang heartthrob dj natin ay in-love narin
Ratatatat ni m16 si keanna
Oh ang ating iron man, nagjo-joke na naman
(repeat chorus)
Dito na nagtatapos ang aking araw
Ten minutes na lang lights out na ang ilaw
Good night good night good night
Kita kits sa duyan....
It's over....!!!!!
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